I survived the blackout of 2003! I was in Bloomfield Hills, Michigan
outside of Detroit conducting advanced mediation training for a group of
experienced Michigan mediators. About 4 pm on Thursday, the lights went
out. This was not a big deal because large glass windows and doors looked
out on a beautiful golf course and let in the light. Nevertheless, not
much time passed before the room warmed up. We checked with the facilities
manager and learned that the power was out. Oh, well. We finished
the day and then learned how bad the power failure really was.
The next three days were pretty grim. Ninety percent humidity and
around ninety degrees (at least it felt that way to me), no air conditioning,
my hotel room dark with sealed windows, no hot water and very little food.
The unexpected physical discomfort and upset to a well-planned training workshop
set up an environment that could disturb the equanimity of the most centered
peacemaker. Somehow I became conscious of the fact that I could let
the environment control my attitude or I could control my attitude to the
environment. As an experiment, I chose to exhibit serenity and peace
no matter how uncomfortable I was. And, I observed how people around
me managed the same environment.
As you might expect, normally civil people became surly after a few days.
Tempers flared much more frequently than one would normally see in public
places. Surprisingly, however, I saw far fewer tantrums than I expected.
Many people were able to accept the situation with either aplomb or resignation
and wait it out. I concentrated on remaining present in the moment,
not focusing on the heat and humidity, and not wondering about the future
(e.g., when would the power and the air conditioning be restored).
I found that I sailed through all of the challenges without difficulty.
I won’t say that the experience was fun, but I was able to tolerate it without
becoming grumpy.
This experience has caused me to reflect about the role of physical environments
on peacemaking. In our modern world, we forget how much we control our living,
working and traveling spaces for personal comfort. When climate control
systems break down because of power failures, we can easily allow ourselves
to react to the situation. This can lead to irritability, impatience,
frustration, and, of course, conflict. Sometimes, the emotional discomfort
compels us to act; to just do something. If we feel enough frustration,
we will lash out.
Thus, our physical environment is an important and subtle part of peacemaking.
If people are physically comfortable, they can spend less emotional and cognitive
resources on their environment and more resources on their conflict work.
Likewise, when people are physically uncomfortable, their tolerance and
patience drop quickly. Minor discomfort is annoying and seems to accelerate
irritation and frustration.
If you are dealing with a conflict, check out the environment. Is
the temperature comfortable for everyone? Some people get cold if
a space is over-chilled in the summer; others get hot easily. Is the
light natural and diffused? Both incandescent and fluorescent lighting
are prevalent in office conference rooms, but are not nearly as calming as
sunlight. Nevertheless, facing the sun blasting in through a window
is not comfortable either. Is the space visually appealing? Windows
looking out to views can relax people. Tasteful wall hangings, whether
art work, photographs, or tapestries, can have the same calming effect.
I have found that fresh cut flowers and indoor plants “smooth” out a conference
room. Indoor water fountains and waterfalls provide a quiet white noise
that masks outside sounds. If you have worked with feng shui, you will know
what I mean.
One of the simplest peacemaking techniques I teach is to change the environment.
If you are in an argument or conflict with someone, try moving somewhere
else. Taking a walk or finding a secluded space can work wonders.
First, the time it takes to get to the space slows down the escalation process.
Second, moving to a new space symbolically permits a new start to the process.
Most importantly, take a lesson from my experience in Detroit. Choose
your attitude to your environment; do not react to it. Consciously
choose not to be irritated or annoyed at minor physical discomforts like heat,
humidity, and perspiration. By being calm and centered yourself, you
will create a space of peace around you that will allow others to feel the
same way.
Douglas E. Noll, Esq. is a lawyer specializing in peacemaking and mediation
of difficult and intractable conflicts throughout California. His firm,
Douglas E. Noll and Associates is based in Central California. He may
be reached through his website
and email at doug@nollassociates.com